The Lesser Uchiha
by Hammy Uchiha
Summary: Sasuke finds out the terrible truth about Sai...
1. My Twin Brother

**This is my sister, Ellen, (she's also my crazy editor a.k.a. The Kunai Monster) and I's theory about Sai. So we had like a 13 hour drive and we got bored, but anyways... this is the beginning, there will be at least one more chapter...at least I hope so..**

**Please Read and Review, or Sai's Abs will put you on speedial, and what do abs say when they call you? That will be your displeasure to find out should you not leave a review...**

**Note: I don't own Naruto, becuz if I did, Obito would never have died.  
**

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**The Lesser Uchiha**

By Hammy Uchiha

**Intro…**

He was born into one of Konoha's greatest clans, the younger of the two by 5 minutes. He was abandoned to what ever fate the Hokage granted him, as he wasn't Sharingan positive, and of course the greatest clan in Konoha did not need a Sharingan-less child in its head house. Without a name, he was sent off to an unknown fate, his own brother not knowing he had ever existed. It was a secret kept by the parents, the older brother, and the Fourth Hokage. Two of the three took it with them to their grave.

**My Twin Brother?**

Sasuke could not believe the last words to come out of Itachi's mouth.

"There is another…"

"What the hell are you talking about!"

"_He's_ your brother, your twin,"

"Naruto!"

"No, Sai."

A wail of despair filled the night and Sasuke was inclined to think that Itachi was just messing with his mind. When he returned to the village, though, he was relieved, Sai was nowhere to be seen.

The Uchiha went home to find his house, same as it had always been. Happily he returned to having the big Uchiha house to himself.

But it was not to be.

Sasuke was coming home one night from training hard to find the door of his house open and Naruto doppelgrangers everywhere. Two were carrying in a giant sofa, following by another two with a big screen TV. Sasuke stood twitching as in marched the clones with giant pieces of furniture. His mouth was vaguely moving but no words were coming out.

"What the hell are you doing!" he cried at last. Sai leapt over a mattress being dragged in, and stood with that stupid smile on his face.

"Just moving in, niisan,"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Sasuke fell to his knees in mortal anguish. Naruto snickered as he watched the great Uchiha wail in despair.

"How…how did you find out?" he whispered at last. Sai just spread fake smile wider.

"I got a letter, from Itachi-niisan," he said simply. Sasuke looked at Sai, his eye twitching. _Determined to make my life hell, even after you're gone, huh, aniki? _Sasuke at last managed to get to his feet, still twitching.

"Okay, but, you can't live anywhere near me,"

"That's okay, niissan, Naruto helped me move all the stuff out of your room, so I can stay there."

Sasuke passed out on the front lawn.

"Will he be alright?" asked Sai. Naruto nodded with a malicious smile.

"Yep, the excitement's just been too much for him," replied Naruto nodding sagely.

When Sasuke woke up, it was dark and no one had bothered to move him so he was lying in the grass as the sprinklers sprayed him. He sat up sputtering water. He stalked into his house, wondering if this had all been a dream and maybe he had had too much to drink, therefore passing out on his lawn. When he opened the door to his room and saw Ab Man sleeping in his newly redecorated room, Sasuke's eyes grew to the size of dinner plates as he backed away in disbelief. The living room too, Sai had replaced the picture of Sasuke's family with a picture of he and his abs. The big screen TV was filling up an entire wall along with his giant plush couch. Sasuke backed away from that too. He ran to the kitchen. Sai's apron was hanging over a chair showing off it front which read: Just Me and My Abs.

Filled with despair Sasuke fainted on the kitchen floor, foaming at the mouth. Sai was awoken by the loud crash as Sasuke fell. He got out of bed and was joined by Naruto who had been sleeping on the couch. They walked to the kitchen and flipped on the light, speculating what could have possibly fallen over.

When they saw Sasuke foaming on the floor, Naruto just shook his head.

"He was overwhelmed by the beauty of your redecoration," said the Uzumaki still nodding sagely and evil giggling in his head.

"Right," answered Sai, flipping back off the light and walking off.

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**I'm on to something right?**

**anyways... to be continued... (laughs maliciously)**

** Please Review.**

**-Hammy Uchiha  
**


	2. The Headache Continues

**Chapter 2, I don't know who to feel bad for, Sai (with such a spiteful brother) or Sasuke (who has to put up with a creepy ab-obsessed brother) Either way here's the next chapter. This isn't the end yet!**

**Please read and review or the abs shall seek you out. NO LIE!**

**Note: I do not own Naruto, that would be the one and only and totally awesome Kishi-sama.**

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**The Headache Continues…**

When Sasuke sat up the next morning with a headache from hitting his head when he fell, Sai was cooking pancakes.

Sasuke sat twitching at him for a while trying to get over the fact that this was not a dream.

"What'd you do with all my stuff?" he asked at last. Sai turned around wearing his awful pink apron giving his twin a fake smile.

"We moved it outside," answered Naruto from where he sat at the table eating pancakes. _Why the hell is Naruto in my house! Or Sai for that matter?_

Sasuke got up to see. He walked barefoot to the door and opened it to see all of his belongings in the lawn, where if you recall the sprinklers were running…

Sasuke almost passed out again. But he restrained such a dramatic move into banging his head against the wall.

"How? How? How?" he muttered.

"Careful there or you'll give yourself a concussion," called a pink haired kunoichi running up the path to the house.

"Sakura," said Sasuke with relief. Finally, someone who was normal. "What are you doing here?" he asked hoping she had come to evict Sai from his house. She raised a wrapped up plate of cookies.

"I brought a house warming gift for Sai," she returned. "Oh yeah, and something for his abs too," she said pulling out ab wax to make them shine with the light from the morning sun. With a loud, annoyed groan Sasuke banged his head against the wall again.

After Sakura had gone in and Sasuke's forehead had begun to hurt, he considered the soggy problem in front of him. He had no idea how he was supposed to drag all his stuff back in.

As Sai, Sakura and Naruto were laughing over pancakes and talking about other rooms that could be redecorated; they saw a lone figure dragging his soggy mattress down the hall. Sasuke looked in one room after another; many had already been 'redecorated' by Sai. Until at last, he reached the most haunted room of his entire house.

Itachi's room.

Twitching Sasuke turned to keep dragging the mattress but the rest of the hall ended in his parents' room, which brought back worse memories.

"So niisan's room it is," he muttered pushing open the door. Itachi's room was as it was the day he left. His bed neatly made everything in order as Itachi would have it. No signs existed of the madness that must have possessed him. At least, not any that Sasuke could see. Sasuke looked from his soggy mattress to Itachi's clean made bed. _Soggy…Itachi…soggy…Itachi…soggy………Itachi _Sasuke left his mattress. He wondered if Itachi's mattress was bumpy and caused those who slept on it to become complete psychopaths. At that moment he suddenly did not care, and turned around to grab the rest of his junk.

It was basically a couple of swords, a dresser of now damp clothes, a box of photos, and a whole lot of shinobi gear. As he was doing so, Sakura and Naruto aided Sai in painting his living room green with giant yellow polka dots. The other Uchiha was too busy cleaning up Itachi's room, changing the sheets on the bed and sweeping out the cobwebs.

It took a long time, but when Sasuke finished he was pleased with his work. He walked over to the bed to lie down, and as he crossed the rug there was an ominous creeeak. Sasuke stopped and stepped back. Creeeeak. Sasuke knelt down and pulled back the rug. There on the floor was a hinge. Raising an eyebrow, Sasuke pulled back the board. And out from the floor shown a brilliantly white light radiating from the hole in Itachi's floor! No wait; go back, that's not right. Sasuke's eyebrows rose so high they almost fell off his face as he peered into the hole in Itachi's floor. In the floor, in neat rows, were hundreds of small bottles of all sorts of colors, and the fumes were overpowering. _Nail polish!_ Sasuke's eyes were as big as dinner plates. _That's just wrong…_ He pulled out the box and carried it out to the dumpster where he dumped them all in. _No wonder Itachi went mad; he'd been sniffing too much nail polish… that might explain something about Ino…_ Sasuke marched back to his house where Sai was digging up his lawn. Sasuke was still too distracted to notice, recalling a certain hole in his own floor.

Sasuke snuck into his own room, looking with disgust at all the posters of Sai's abs tacked to the walls. _He seriously has problems._ Sasuke went to the closet, opening the doors to the horror of all the cut-off shirts. _Ew, that's just wrong._ Bending down he undid a chakra lock on the floor board and pulled it up. There was his box. Sasuke let out a sigh of relief, Sai had not found his own secret stash.

Picking up the box Sasuke headed back to his new room smirking confidently. His cherry blossom secret was safe…for now.

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When Sasuke returned to his room, he opened the box to make sure that his prize was still there. Sasuke let out a scream of horror and fell to the floor foaming at the mouth, when he saw the box…

full of snap shots…

of Sai's abs.

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**-twitches- To be continued...**

**please review **

**-Hammy Uchiha **


	3. My Brother Has a Problem

**So... I don't know if this chapter is as good as the others, but anyways, the headache continues for poor Sasuke.**

**Note: I don't own Naruto, if I did Obito would never have died.**

**Please Read and Review. I know you lurkers are out there, I'm on to you! I am beginning to suffer from a rare disease that makes it difficult for me to put chapters up quickly. It's called: Lackofreview-itis. **

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**My Brother Has a Problem**

When Sasuke sat up rubbing his head from the third time he had passed out in the last 24 hours, he leapt to his feet, snatched up the box of pictures and snuck down the hall back to Sai's room. He silently tiptoed in and replaced the box of pictures where he had found it. Then desperately, and futilely at that, he hunted for the box he had had hidden. But nowhere could Sasuke find it, not in Sai's giant dresser or in the closet with all his cut-off shirts. _He has absolutely no style at all! _Sasuke left his twin's room and stalked off to find the little devil.

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"Sakura-chan, I think my brother has a problem," said Sai confronting the med nin as she came out of the library. Sakura stopped giving Sai an odd look.

"How so, Sai?" she asked putting her hands on her hips. Sai opened the box he had in his hands.

"Look what I found, hidden under a floorboard in his closet," said Sai holding it out for her to see. Sakura looked into the box, her eyes widening at what she saw.

"That's kinda creepy," she said finally mustering up an answer.

"Did you know he also couldn't draw a picture to save his life?" asked Sai.

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When Sai got home, Sasuke tackled him.

"What'd you do with them!" he demanded with a crazed look in his eye.

"With what?" replied Sai. Sasuke was up in Sai's face.

"MY BOX!" he cried eyes wild. Sai gave his twin brother one of his twisted fake smiles.

"I don't know what you're talking about," returned the younger Uchiha, in one move he shoved Sasuke off him. Sasuke stood up his fists trembling,

"YOU LIE! YOU KNOW THE BOX OF THE PICTURES OF…" Sasuke stopped as someone dragged him away from Sai. Who would it happen to be, but Sakura, with an evil smile plastered to her face, Sasuke's box under her arm. Sasuke twitched franticly hoping she hadn't looked in the box.

"Uh…hi Sakura," he tried to say, his eye twitching like nobody's business.

"Hi Sasuke, or should I say…" Sakura began her evil smile growing. "My biggest stalker!" Sasuke practically attacked her trying to get his box back.

"Your secret's out, stalker and I am on to you," she said grinning. Sasuke was still reaching for his box.

"Please can I have it back?" he begged. Sakura smiled wickedly.

"Nope, you take pretty good pictures of me, you can rebuild your collection," she said walking off.

Sasuke fell to his knees still reaching after her.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

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**oh yeah, and its also alot shorter than all the other chapters...**

**To Be Contined...**

**-Hammy Uchiha**


	4. The Lesser Uchiha

**Here we go again. -laughs malicously- **

**Please read and review do to my disease as I formerly mentioned. Also because you never know when Sai's abs are in a bad mood and just need to beat on someone. They could ring YOUR doorbell.**

**Note: I don't own Naruto, if I did Obito would never have died**

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**The Lesser Uchiha**

Sasuke walked slowly. His feet hurt like heck and he was exhausted. A sheen of sweat covered his skin and drenching the undershirt he was wearing and there was a small smile on his face. The last four hours had been the best in recent days due to the fact Sai was not there. A cool night breeze sifted the air in the darkening nightime.

As he began to distantly get near to the Uchiha district Sasuke could hear the faint pounding of music. Sasuke's eye twitched. _I have this feeling in my abs….NO! My gut, not abs, that this won't be a good thing._ The nearer he got the louder and closer the music became. As Sasuke passed the Hyuga residence, Hiashi and Hanabi were standing outside, and Hiashi was complaining angrily about the music which was loud now.

"You, Uchiha-sama!" yelled the old Hyuga at Sasuke as he walked past. Sasuke stopped and turned around. "What the hell's going on down at your house?" he demanded. Sasuke blinked.

"My house?" he repeated.

"Do I hear an echo? Yes!"

Sasuke wavered a minute before running off down the street. Sure enough as his house came into view, it was the source of the pounding music. Lights gleamed from every window illuminating the house like a beacon. Angrily the older Uchiha stalked up the steps and into his house. The instant he entered the sound waves practically threw him to the ground. There were people everywhere, dancing and eating, talking and drinking. _Where is that jerk, Sai!_ Sasuke pushed his way through the mass of people.

Here he saw Chouji taking up the entire space of the couch, eating potato chips. Then he saw Naruto in the distance dancing like psycho. Suddenly someone caught his arm. Sasuke turned, eyes burning with rage.

It was only Hinata. She looked scared. Quietly he allowed himself to be pulled back out of the house. There he could actually hear himself think. Hinata poked her fingers together.

"D…don't you think the m…music's a little loud?" she asked softly. "B…because, m…my father, he won't l…like it," she practically whispered. An idea hit Sasuke like a ton of bricks.

"I'll fix that," he said laughing maliciously. He walked off around the side of the house.

Sai was dancing in the middle of the living room, Ino on one side, Sakura on the other.

"ARE YOU SURE SASUKE WON'T MIND THIS?" yelled Ino over the pounding music.

"WHAT?" yelled back Sakura.

"ARE YOU SURE SASUKE WON'T MIND THIS?" demanded the blond elbowing Sai. The Ab Master raised a hand to his ear.

"WHAT?" he yelled.

"OH NEVERMIND!" shouted back Ino. At that instant, all the lights went out and the stereo as well. Ino screamed then suddenly there was a flashlight at the door.

"Everybody out!" yelled Sasuke from the door. The herd began to move for the door.

"No everybody stay!" yelled Sasuke up by the speakers also bearing a flashlight. The herd looked from one Sasuke to the other Sasuke.

"Which one is the real Uchiha?" asked Lee looking back and forth. Even Sakura was confused.

"Bring them up here!" she called and without a say the two Sasukes were dragged to the center of the floor. Sakura looked from one to the other. Both were sweaty, both looked angsty…

"Hmmm…" murmured Sakura. They had both crossed their arms and were looking annoyed.

"How are we going to tell them apart?" asked Tenten from the back of the mob.

"If one is the real Sasuke, who is the other one?" called Naruto. There was murmuring at that.

"What a drag. You really don't see who the faker is, how lame…" said Shikamaru.

"Well if you know, why don't you tell us, genius," said Kiba.

"It's Sai," replied Shikamaru. The crowd looked around but there was no Sai to deny it.

"Ok," said Sakura. "To discover the real Sasuke I want you each to draw a picture of…me," she said.

"We need paper," said one of the Sasukes.

"I've got paper!" called Lee to Sakura. He brought the notepad forward. He tore out one sheet for Sasuke #1 and another sheet for Sasuke #2. Sasuke #2 looked oddly at his paper.

"'Gai-sensei's ways for impressing Sakura-chan…'" he read. Lee, blushing, snatched the paper away from Sasuke #2 and handed him another.

"Pens?" asked Sasuke #1. Someone threw pens into the middle. As they shone flashlights down at the two, they started to draw.

Sasuke #1 seemed to be having lots of trouble. He put the pen on the paper and drew a jagged line. Wincing he tried again, but nothing he seemed to do was right. The other Sasuke was attempting to capture Sakura in his paper. But what he got was a sorta messed up looking stick person with a big smile.

Ino shook her head. "They're both pitiful," she said to Sakura. "What kind of stupid way to tell which is the real Sasuke is that?"

"The real Sasuke," whispered Sakura. "can't draw to save his life."

"Who told you that?" asked Ino incredulously.

"Sai."

Sakura confiscated the pictures from the two and she and Ino inspected them.

"Sasuke #1's doesn't even look like anything," said Ino. Sakura nodded.

"It's him, #1 is the real Sasuke," she announced. Sasuke #1 with a fake sort of smile got up and led his crowd of followers out into the night. In their wake they left paper cups all over the floor and mess everywhere. Slowly the real Sasuke got up, with a depressed sort of sigh. He unplugged the stereo went back outside and turned the power on and then he proceeded to pick up his trashed house.

_Sai is such a loser._

Sasuke wondered if there was some other place he could live or some terrible way he could get rid of Sai and his abs.

"I'll get you Sai! And your little abs too!" laughed Sasuke maliciously into the empty night.

_Probably not. Who's the lesser Uchiha now? The one who can fake anything or the one cleaning up the house, who has the Sharingan? _

Sasuke knew the answer because he was the one cleaning up the house.

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**Doom doom doom! Is this the ending? I'm not quite sure at the moment.**

**Please review and tell me what you think. Is this the end?  
**

**-Hammy Uchiha**


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